When you ask Healthy Mum and Bub’s owner and founder Jenny, what experiences in life helped you grow the most? – I would say it is…long distance relationship!
This is a special post prompted by the wordpress blogger community on the life changing moments that helped me grow most. This is my story from way before I became a mother. I guess life has a funny way of throwing challenges our way, each one offering a chance for growth. For me, one of the most transformative moments came when I became a mother. But the path to motherhood wasn’t without its hurdles, especially when it came to marrying my husband. I shall share a story of mine that helped me to grow so much way before my motherhood journey.
Even though sharing the same cultural background, our long-distance relationship faced strong opposition from my mother. As a single mother who had worked tirelessly to settle in Australia, she harbored concerns about trust and the challenges of maintaining a relationship across miles. Her apprehensions were compounded by her own insecurities and skepticism towards men not related by blood. I guess this would be some sort of psychological topic for a psychologist to explain. My mother and one of my friends also tried to get me into some new relationship while I am still in relationship with my now husband.
Navigating this terrain wasn’t easy. I had to reconcile my desires with my mother’s worries, all while reflecting on past relationships that had been scrutinized and stressed by her demands. Weekly, I faced the harsh nagging of my mother while trying to build a long-distance relationship with my now-husband, which put me under a lot of mental strain.
Additionally, my mother’s pressure to sell my own livable property for the family added to the complexities of our journey, but ultimately reinforced my resolve to carve out a path of my own.
Despite the challenges, I refused to give up. One day, I boldly chose to leave my mother’s home, ready to start anew and live life on my own terms. Don’t get me wrong, I always love my mum, but it was time for both of us to find balance and independence in our mother-daughter relationship.
“Distance means so little when someone means so much.”
– Unknown
For two years, I made relentless efforts to secure annual leave from my corporate job, determined to bridge the distance between my husband and me. Travelling back and forth to the UAE became a routine, yet each trip held a promise of reconnection and adventure. Embracing my husband’s lifestyle and exploring the UAE as a local not only deepened our bond but also introduced me to new friends in the country.
One memorable journey took us to Muscat in Oman, where we not only savored a holiday together but also envisioned my husband’s life and work there. Finally, back in our hometown of Shanghai, we exchanged vows in a moment both enchanting and bittersweet, as my mother’s absence cast a shadow of regret over our joyous occasion due to her disapproval.
Yet, here I am today, happily married and united in Australia with a beautiful daughter. Reflecting on my mother’s own journey, I am determined to break the cycle of distrust and uncertainty. I wish to build a marriage founded on trust and unwavering belief, allowing true love to pave the way for a lasting union. Through it all, I’ve learned that love knows no bounds, and with perseverance, anything is possible.
Long-Distance Relationship: The Good and The Not-So-Good
The Good:
- Talks that matter: Every chat is more than just talk; it’s a heart-to-heart.
- Grow on your own: Space to become the best version of yourself.
- Miss and cherish: When you’re together, it’s like time stops.
- Heartstrings stronger: Love knows no distance.
- You, but better: Tough times make you tougher, and better.
- Wanderlust together: Every visit is a new adventure.
The Not-So-Good:
- Hug-less days: Sometimes, you just need a real hug.
- Words jumble: When texts and calls just don’t cut it.
- Solo nights: It gets lonely sometimes.
- Doubt creeps: Trust is hard, but necessary.
- Shared moments missed: Some things are better together.
Navigating the challenges of a long-distance relationship can be a transformative journey, one that requires strength, trust, and the willingness to grow together even when miles apart. Drawing from personal experiences and expert advice, below is my top 10 tips for maintaining a long-distance relationship.
“Love knows not distance; it hath no continent; its eyes are for the stars.”
-Gilbert Parker
10 Powerful Tips to Keep Your Long-Distance Love Strong
1. Prioritize Communication: Establish a rhythm that works for both of you. Whether it’s daily check-ins or weekly video calls, consistent communication is key.
2. Embrace Independence: Cultivate your own hobbies and social circles. Personal growth outside the relationship enriches your shared experiences.
3. Plan Meaningful Visits: Anticipating reunions can strengthen your bond. Regular visits not only create shared memories but also reinforce your connection. It’s essential to have a well-thought-out plan for the duration of your long-distance relationship. Setting realistic timeframes for each other and discussing the steps needed to eventually live together and marry can help maintain clarity and commitment in your relationship.
4. Set Relationship Goals: Discuss your future together. Having a plan for eventually closing the distance provides hope and direction.
5. Be Present: When communicating, give each other your full attention. This shows commitment and respect for the relationship.
6. Share Experiences: Watch a movie together online, play a game, or read a book simultaneously. Shared activities can create a sense of closeness.
7. Trust Each Other: Trust is the foundation of any relationship, more so in a long-distance one. Cultivate trust and avoid unnecessary jealousy.
8. Stay Positive: Focus on the benefits of the distance, like personal growth and the excitement of reunions.
9. Support Each Other: Be there for each other emotionally. Long-distance can be tough, but knowing you have each other’s support makes it easier.
10. Harness Technology: Leverage technology to stay connected. From messaging apps to virtual reality, use tools that help bridge the gap. For us we simply used WeChat, FaceTime and Messenger, Sometimes even Snapchat.
The Power of Trust and Belief
The path to a successful long-distance relationship is not without its regrets and sacrifices. Yet, it’s these very challenges that forge stronger bonds and a deeper understanding of love. It’s about building a foundation of trust and belief that can withstand the tests of time and distance.
Dear friends, if you are currently experiencing long-distance relationship or is sceptical about this kind of relationship, I wish to let you know that from my personal experiences, the journey of a long-distance relationship is truly a testament to the resilience of love. It’s a narrative of growth, of finding strength in vulnerability, and of the strong belief that true love can bridge any distance.
Incorporating these 10 tips into your long-distance relationship can help you and your partner grow together, even when you’re apart. Just like my story shared above, it’s the commitment to each other and the belief in your bond that will carry you through to a future where distance is just a memory. 🌏❤️
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