Mums and Dads, are you stressful about so many things in your life? Do you feel depressed and agonized about your life? Do you feel that you never had enough time for yourself? Do you feel it is difficult to maintain a work life balance? Do you worry about your child’s physical and mental health? Are you worrying about your child’s future? Are you stressful about keeping your relationship going? Are you worrying about your child gets bullied? And I believe the list just goes on for many of you.
For all my dear friends, supportive followers and interested audiences, you have all probably know that I don’t have the ‘perfect’ family in which mum and dad have lived happily ever after. I also did not have the wedding that every princess are suppose to have. Both my parents were not present at my wedding, the reasons being were my dad has his own family matters that are more important than my wedding to mind, and my mum was and still is strong against the man I am marrying to due to various biases.
So, I felt that I have experienced a hell a lot of stress and endless misery throughout my life. But I am going to reassure you that the miserable experiences are only there for you to strengthen your will and spirit, and knowing that you can really level up yourself mentally!
Now the pandemic has hit us hard, we have been isolated since the eruption of the first news of the outbreak. At the time of writing, in where we live Sydney, we are entering into an extended lockdown due to the staggering number of confirmed Covid 19 cases. For my child who loves people and the great outdoor fun, I concern about her way of education going on forward, and what her future will be like.
To be honest, and telling you the utter truth, you, I and everyone are in this together! Having mental health problems or mental illness? My dear friends, you are not alone!
What is Mental Illness and Statistics on Mental Illness
Mental health is the overall wellness of how you think, regulate your feelings and behave. A mental illness, or mental health disorder, is defined as patterns or changes in thinking, feeling or behaving that cause distress or disrupt a person’s ability to function. Mental illness can also be defined as ‘a clinically diagnosable disorder that significantly interferes with a person’s cognitive, emotional or social abilities’ as per the COAG Health Council 2017.
According to the World Health Organization, 1 in 4 people experience mental illness in a year and 45% of us will experience a mental illness in our lives.
And also from Mental Health Foundation website, the study Mental health statistics: family and parenting shows Approximately 68% of women and 57% of men with mental health problems are Parents; and the most common mental health problems experienced during pregnancy and after birth are anxiety, depression and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
And A 2013-2014 study found that 38% of first-time fathers are concerned about their mental health, and around 10% of all new fathers worldwide experience postnatal depression. Further, from the resource book When your parent has a mental illness published back in 2014 by Children of Parents with Mental Illness, in Australia, 1/5 adults experience mental illness, 1/5 kids live with a parent who experiences mental illness and that’s about six out of the 30 kids in a class.
How to Tell the Difference between Emotions and Mental Illness
According to the Better Health Channel, the common mental illness include anxiety disorders, behavioral and emotional disorders in children, bipolar affective disorder, depression, dissoiation and dissociative disorders, eating disorders, obsessive complusive disorder, paranoia, post-traumatic stress disorder, pyschosis and schizophrenia.
And what is the main difference between emotional and mental health is that the former involves your ability to express and manage emotions arises from what you learnt and experienced, whereas the latter is how well your mind processes and understands information and experiences.
Signs of Mental Illness in Parents and The Impacts of Mental Illness
The main warnings that a parent has mental illness are:
* Prolonged sadness for two or three weeks
* Dramatic changes in moods
* Social withdrawl and avoiding social interactions
* Hurting oneself or talking about hurting oneself
* Suicidal intention and talking about death
* Excessive paranoia, worry or anxiety
* Dramatic changes in eating habits or sleeping patterns
* Out of control behaviors that can be harmful
* Confused thinking or problems concentrating and learning
* Complaints of unexplained aches and pains
The list can go on. And the impacts of parental mental health issues include But not limited to:
* Divorce or separation
* Unemployment
* Financial difficulties or hardship
* Poor living conditions and housing
* Being discriminated
* Lack of social support
* Domestic violence or abuse
Causes of Mental Illness
The causes of mental illness are unknown, and can be very complex. Research suggests that most mental health conditions result from a complex of nature and nuture, along with psychological and environmental factors. Biological causes or nature are genetic vulnerabilities and neurochemical functioning; Environmental causes or nurture are changes in neurochemistry.
In more understandable terms, nature include genetics, hormones, and traits that affect a person’s behavior, physical appearance, and diseases. For example, with your family bloodline will have a impact on the way you would look, behave or think.
Whereas nurture include environmental factors, childhood experiences, social relationships, upbringing, culture, and experiences influence the person.
Guidance For Parents with Mental Illness
All parents have to face the challenges and mange their mental health when taking care and nurturing their children. But when a parent has mental illness, it would cause more challenges to navigate how they can manage both themselves and their children.
Below are some ways for managing and coping with mental illness:
* The priority is to seek help at an early stage. Don’t hide the stress and emotions, and try to speak to anyone who maybe of help as soon as possible.
* Set a regular routine so the parent can get through the list of things that can be done easier with a better order.
* Have some family rules in place, perhaps to ease the stress in mind, write them down on a chalk board or notice board at home.
* Have the parent to practice to concentrate and do one thing at a time.
* Accomplish simple tasks such as shopping, hanging the laundry or cooking some east meals, and reward yourself with a nice dessert or coffee after you have done them.
* Set limits for your child’s behaviour and keep to them.
* Staying connected to your child to help both yourself and your child feeling secured and loved. A circulation of love and care in the family is very important.
Words of Advice for Families with a Parent who has Mental Illness
When you have a parent in the family who has mental illness, what we need to do is to be really sensitive to the emotions and behaviours of this parent. Ignorance will only leave the parent lost in limbo and get into an abyss of hopelessness and helplessness.
Have a decent conversation with the parent and be open to silence and let him/her to really feel that the listening partner or family member is standing from his/her perspective. Ask open questions such as “How are you feeling lately?” and offer help by stating that you will be there for him/her if he/she needs.
Observe his/her behaviors and try to provide assistance where you see necessary. Try to do all these in a subtle and natural way and prevent to accuse the parent of errors or mistakes that he/she has done. Also this parent may have a lot of emotional ups and downs, so try to go with the follow and guide him/her in the most gentle way your can.
The key is to stay connected as a family, and let the parent know you are always there to help him/her.
Lastly, look after the overall health of the parent by setting up routine exercises for him/her and doing this together as a family.
For further assistance, remember there are many well recognized mental illness organizations across Australia and globally:
* Beyond Blue : Provides information and support to help everyone in Australia achieve their best possible mental health
* COMPI – Parents : Provides mental health information and resources for Australian parents.
* Head to Health : A government body through Department of Health. Provides information, advice and links to free and low-cost phone and online mental health services
* SANE : A national mental health charity working to support four million Australians affected by complex mental illness.
* Lifeline : A national charity providing all Australians experiencing a personal crisis with access to 24 hour crisis support and suicide prevention. To speak to Lifeline, dail 131 114.
* World Mental Health Day : Provides an opportunity for all stakeholders working on mental health issues to talk about their work, and what more needs to be done to make mental health care a reality for people worldwide. Check out the website for upcoming mental health events.
* World Federation for Mental Health : The only international multidisciplinary, grassroots advocacy and education organization concerned with all aspects of mental health.Hope the above helps for anyone who has a parent with mental illness, or yourself who thinks that you might be suffering from mental illness or someone wants to learn more about mental health.
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