Hello mums, do you feel overwhelmed by motherhood? Do you feel the challenges in childbearing make you feel depressed and stressed? Do you tend to develop health ailments such as intensified PMS, fatigue, nutritional deficit, type II diabetes, thyroid disease and autoimmune illness? Do you feel that your marriage is breaking down due to somehow more frequent conflicts between you and your partner? Do you tend to have lower self-esteem and confidence?
The unique distress and physiological demand from childbearing has resulted mums being in a position to find themselves helpless, alone, crying in despair, and not getting the understanding and adequate support.
For mums especially new mums, it is quite difficult to begin a new journey of motherhood considering the overwhelming physical changes and the new responsibilities. I am still considered a fairly new mum as only being a mum for two years, and throughout these two years on maternity leave from my corporate job, I found overall you do have an adequate support system for mums in Australia, and luckily my husband is very helpful and supportive as always.
So from my own experiences, I would love to share what works for me personally, and hope these will help our mothers to find the right support systems for yourselves.
Local Supports from the Government for Mothers
During pregnancy, I found my midwife from the local hospital is always supportive and resourceful. She helps me to relieve my concerns of different conditions that arises and gives clear guidance on what I should do and not do, as well as what may happen in the next stage of my pregnancy and so on.
The local hospital also provides several parenting courses to get you ready for birthing, caring for newborns and potential mental health issues that may come after birthing. We learnt the fundamentals of caring for our baby and what to expect being new parents, I really love that we could connect with fellow new parents and have fun together in a range of activities.
Also, the local community Child and Family Health Centres are wonderful to provide you with ongoing support, especially after birthing. The highlight was the group course on preparing your baby for solids, it gives you a good education on the physical development of your baby and the gradual process of solid feeding.
You may want to visit links such as the NSW child and family health nursing services and this article Child and Family Health Nurse by Raising Children for more information.
There was one thing that stands out from what our local midwives and nurses would do on every visit, that is they will always have a private conversation with you to check if you have any mental health issues and relationship issues that may need further support and assistance.
Encourage Mothers to Connect
I would really encourage our new mothers to get connected with mother groups, parent groups, playgroups and your mum friends. After my girl was born, apart from the exhilarating moments of life, I also sometimes find I am lost in limbo. There are just too many things that cannot be simply resolved by yourself and your partner.
One of my mum girlfriends invited me to join an online mother group one day, thank you to my girlfriend, it was from that day I got to know there are mother groups out there. I was able to seek advice on baby eczema, nappy rashes, supplements to take postnatal, relationship with your partner, and so on. Since then, I have joined many other mother groups on Facebook and also the awesome Peanut App for mothers.
Some of the well-received and popular mum groups are Mums Plugged-In: Virtual Mothers Group, Mums at the Table Group, Young Mums & Mums to Be Support Group, Mums Group Chat, The Healthy Mummy New Mum Support Group, The Mum’s Lounge and many more.
These groups would help you greatly in connecting with mothers in your community and around the world, and recognise that the concerns, issues, questions in your motherhood journey are very common and you are not alone!
I have then even go on to found my very own mother group Healthy Mum and Bub and blogsite in the same name to help the mothers of our community and globally. Through this exploration journey of a nexus of mother support system, I have come out strong and empowered with great spirit to match on and walk the motherhood adventure with my fellow mothers.
Public Resources
There are a lot of public resources mothers can access to and find the relevant knowledge and skills to make themselves informed, learnt and educated throughout the motherhood journey. Some useful resources are:
Beyond Blue: Providing support and treatment advice for mothers experiencing anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts.
Raising Children: Providing free, reliable, up-to-date, independent info to help your family grow & thrive together. This is one of my favourite network to go for a good knowledge base for raising children in general and also specifically in Australia.
Pregnancy, Birth and Baby: Providing support to parents on the journey from pregnancy to preschool. You can speak to a maternal child health nurse for personal advice and guidance through this organisation.
Australian Breastfeeding Association: This organization has a long history and was founded in 1964. It encourage and support mothers who want to breastfeed their babies, while raising community awareness of the importance of breastfeeding and human milk to child and maternal health.
Mum Space: Australia’s new one-stop website supporting the mental health and emotional wellbeing of pregnant women, new mums and their families.
MindMum: Providing effective strategies to help you lift your mood, strengthen your relationships and feel supported and confident in becoming a mum.
Mum for Mum: MUM FOR MUM NCJWA is a non-denominational home-visiting program where trained volunteers who are mothers themselves visit an expectant mum in the last trimester of pregnancy and for the first year of their baby’s life in order to provide emotional support.
Support from Your Loved Ones
What more is better than the unconditional love, understanding, love and care from your loved ones. At the end of the day, they are the people who will be with you everyday or very often. Try to let your loved ones know how you are thinking and feeling from time to time, so to build a mutual understanding of your needs and their perception on you during your motherhood journey.
Your loved ones not just include your partner, your parents and your children, but also expands to your closest friends. So you would probably already have a vast group of support surround you without realising it. Don’t bottle up your thoughts and feelings, have an open conversation with your dearest family and friends. If you feel it is hard to verbally express your thoughts and feelings, perhaps write them down as you go to share with your trusted loved ones.
To wrap up this post, I a mother would love to tell all mothers around the world, you are not alone. You have all the courage and physical strength to bring a little life to earth, you sure do have the will and power to make it a wholesome and fruitful motherhood journey for yourself! And remember, if you need to talk to someone to share your thoughts and feelings along this adventurous journey, there is a very strong mother support system to support and guide you. Being a mother, you are not a lonely warrior, but one of the warriors in a powerful mum army.
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